My darling has got a new romance.


She's doing her Family Tree.


She spends endless hours at the library


And hasn't much time for me.


Last Sunday was spent in a graveyard;


I was writing down all those M.I.s.


But, on Monday, when checking the Census,


My darling got quite a surprise.


Her Grandma was there with the children


But it seems that she never got wed,


For my darling's beloved old Grandpa


Was "Charlie, a lodger", it said.


Long after the shock had abated,


My darling sent off for Mum's cert.


To find a bit more about Charlie,


But the name of the father was "Bert".....


Now all this makes poor Mother a xxxxxxx,


The old girl is shocked to the core,


For she's just made her mark on the Council


Where there's never been a Gooderson before.


Grandma's halo is thoroughly tarnished,


Her photograph turned to the wall,


And my darling's been suitably chastened,


And lectured for starting it all.




Great grandfather's turned out a hero,


An uncle deserted his wife,


A third one became alcoholic


And a fourth had some trouble and strife.


And that's how it's been all through history,


The same as in days of yore.


When my sweetheart's done all this researching,


She'll find it's all happened before.


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